Why extraverts aren't 'all that' at sales

The most underrated skill in sales is knowing when to stop talking

It’s a commonly held belief that extroverts are born to dominate sales. I believed it too, right up until the day I met Ethan - a man powered by confidence, caffeine and the sound of his own voice. As a new recruit, my job was to shadow him and “learn from the master”. Well, I did learn something that day, but probably not what my boss had intended.

Ethan was the office extravert and self-proclaimed “sales beast”. So naturally I was curious to see how he did things – perhaps I could learn a thing or two. But I hadn’t envisaged anything quite so… dramatic. When we reached the client’s offices, before he got out of the car, Ethan downed a can of Red Bull. “Bit of a party last night,” he said. “This will get me firing on all cylinders”.

Then he was off, striding up to the rotating glass door and pushing inside. As we walked into the meeting, and before anyone could even say hello, Ethan launched into what can only be described as a peculiar ensemble performance piece. There were jokes. There were metaphors. There were long and complex “personal observations”.

Meanwhile, the client, a quiet operations director, sat frozen, blinking slowly in the way people do when they are desperately trying to leave their body without technically dying. At one point he glanced over at me with the unmistakable look of a man thinking: “Please help me.”

I tried to butt in with a question for the client, but was instantly shutdown with a withering look from Ethan that said “I’m in charge here”. Some 45 minutes later when Ethan finally paused, the client politely said he needed to “think about it,” which we all know translates to: “Never contact me again; I will now block your number.”

On the drive back to the office, Ethan beamed.
“Crushed it!”
There was nothing I could say really.

Modern sales require more subtlty

For many years, society has treated extroverts as the natural champions of sales. Characteristics like loudness, boldness and whatever gene makes a person introduce themselves to strangers in elevators, have been seen as the gold standard of what a sales rep should be. And because they are so loud, their self-affirming voices have drowned out the quietly competent introverts. We never got a look in – until now. It turns out that with modern sales, the old-school “charm-and-churn” approach is outdated and ineffective. In modern markets there is a definite shift towards buyer-centric, consultative selling.

Today’s buyers want something different. They want authenticity not anecdotes. They want someone who takes time to understand the problem, shows empathy and offers solutions. Most of all, they want someone who listens.

As an introvert I demonstrate these skills naturally. And that probably explains why I am so good at sales. In typical introvert style I questioned my ability for years, finally letting the achievements speak for themselves. I never felt the need to explain myself to my generally extravert colleagues – I simply got on with the job. People assume that introverts don’t like people or are somehow anti-social and this is far from the truth. I love being around people and connecting with them – it’s just that I like my own company too and I never feel the need to “dominate a room”. By leaving some space for the client, an introvert opens the door to a sale rather than ramming it in the client’s face.

The Ambivert Advantage

Studies show that introverts can close deals just as well as the big, booming sales types and “ambiverts” actually come out top of the league. If you’ve never heard the term ambivert, think of them as the “best of both worlds”. They can hold court with a crowd but are also happy with their own company. They’re social enough to connect, but sane enough to know when to pause and let the client breathe. Basically, they’re the people who can switch gears. And in sales, that flexibility is absolute gold.

I’m not saying extroverts are bad at sales. Far from it - their energy can be contagious, and their social ease is genuinely impressive. But the idea that they are automatically the best just doesn’t hold up anymore. Sales has evolved, and success now depends on curiosity, empathy and the ability to take a step back.

The future of sales belongs not to the loudest voice in the room, but to the person who knows when to stop talking.

… and a final note for anyone in sales who is an INFJ (like me)
INFJs are basically the Jedi Council of the introvert world - quiet, observant, a little mystical. Somehow they know what the client wants even before the client does. While extroverts are out there doing jazz hands and verbal acrobatics, INFJs are calmly tuning into the client’s emotional frequency like human Wi-Fi routers. Their secret weapons? Empathy, intuition and the uncanny ability to ask one perfectly targeted question that makes the client say, “Wow… I’ve never told anyone that. Do you also do therapy?”
If you want someone who can close a deal and help a client unpack their childhood, you should call an INFJ!

What are your thoughts on extraverts and introverts? Do you have any funny stories to share? Feel free to leave a comment :) And let me know if you are an INFJ!